A New Low

But something tells me I haven't reached the bottom yet.

Yesterday was a new low for this adventure I’m on. Started out with me getting a rejection email that was either going to wreck my weekend or set the tone. Better to get the bad news earlier so you can move on, so I spent the weekend occasionally wondering if they were generating my offer letter. Money’s getting low and I will only be able to do this part for about another month or so. Something better change soon.

Aside from the now-usual pile of form letter rejection emails, including one that touted “over fifty applicants,” a very interesting side quest opportunity led me through an interview and onboarding, but is now not returning my emails. Stay classy. And I dropped an uncomfortable amount of money on a cover letter I could have written myself to be presented for a role by a headhunter. I haven’t used one until now, and was approached by that person, so am not sure if this is the way it usually goes, so let me know if you know.

My current best bets are the possibility of contract work starting in June. In my experience, contract is code for no health insurance or wildly overpriced, mediocre health insurance. Probably little or no paid time off, too. Ain’t that America?, as a famous Hoosier once said.

My work BFF from my last job told me he’s now the one with a target on his back, having been put on a PIP despite being rated as “Meets Expectations” in his annual performance review. This is a guy I would hand select for my team every damn time, a guy who I come to value as a friend and colleague. This came out of virtually nowhere. My suspicion is they are trying to leave him holding the bag on a project that has been stalled due to severe mismanagement for over two years.

I know firsthand that a “Meets Expectations” means nothing in that world if they decide you’re expendable. It’s a toxic place. No internal promotions ever, a series of “I know this person from my last job” hires who make no impact, half-assed, inconsistent recognition, continually in-flux leadership, gossip spearheaded by the team supervisor (A quote from him: “I need to decide who I’m going to make cry next.”) For the record, he was the one crying when he had to fire me.), confidential information shared with team members (including the PIP I was put on being shared out with the rest of the team when it shouldn’t have been), creating and fostering internal competition…it’d be a great case study in how to drive a department into the ground. Maybe I should pitch to them.

And this is the vibe I bring to writing about the latest American Football record that is out this Friday. Its closing track kept barging into my other work last week. I think it might their best after listening to the advance over and over (review will be up on PopMatters when the embargo is lifted). The record is made by a group of guys on the verge of fifty, a trail of tough decisions and rough living in the rearview, so I am far more the target audience now than I was twenty five years ago, empathically listening to tales of young love with no memories to hang my hat on yet. Now, as I mention in the review, I am walking side by side with them. I am not sure if it will land with their audience, particularly the young ‘uns, but the last two records were also about the challenges of adulthood, so they’re either in it or will be.